For once, an open letter addressed to the anonymous, and yet, the ones for whom this is meant, got a personal message to read it. So, if you happen to be one of the ones who got a message from me, read carefully – I have a reason for it, and you’ll know it once you read it. And if you happen to be one of the ones who just stumbled upon this, enjoy the reading if you have some time, else feel free to skip this one. So, first the question, why an open letter and then personal invitations to read it? Because, this letter addresses the one issue (disguised differently) I know each one of us is going through and this one content deserves to be hosted on a common place so that each one of us (me included) can read it when we need it.
Life gives us a whole array of situations. We cannot hide from them, we’ve got to face them coz they serve some purpose. The worst part is, we do not know the purpose. These situations come without a warning and just hit you full on. This makes the “unpleasant” situations really difficult to tackle. Now we’ve got a few ways to handle it :
1. Flight. Escape. Refuse to accept the situation. Refuse to admit to the problem, refuse to ask for help, refuse to even do anything about it. Just tell yourself “this is what it is.. sigh!” and look the other way, while actually you as a person are being affected and messed up with.
2. Fight. Hate the situation. Tell it, “I won’t submit to you”. Just get angry and frustrated about it, coz it won’t go away just coz you want it to go away. Look at it with so much of aggression hoping that the aggression will get rid of the situation.
These two ways do no good. You can’t ignore things nor can you just fight something off like that – life is stronger than you, remember? And the basic idea is, if you could do this, then why would the situation arise in the first place? There is a third way:
3. Accept it. Accept that it is there to stay with you (even if it is for a while) and accept that it is there for a good cause. Feel the impact of it. You’ll suffer a bit, ponder a bit. You’ll go into your shell and want to be alone or you’ll want to be on the phone with someone very close to you. This is all healthy. It puts things into perspective. And once you have felt the impact of it, it would automatically stop bothering you and go away.
Life always has the best in mind for you – don’t mess it up by refusing to accept the best. Everything that has happened has been for a good cause, everything that is happening, is also for a good cause, and everything that will happen, will also be for a good cause. Life may not give you what you want, for a simple reason, that it is not good for you. A mother will never give the child with a sore throat cold water, no matter how much the child wants it. A mother will risk the child going hysterical, but will not give in to a desire just to satiate it for a moment, and then be in a worse situation.
When we discussed this, a few of you told me, “we should know what to choose”. You are right and you are wrong: you can’t /don’t choose what to face, instead, you choose how you react to something. Its like – at the end of term, you are going to have exams – you cannot choose that. But how you react to it, is in your hand – would you bunk those exams (option 1 above), would you not study and turn up unprepared for the exams just to show your defiance to them(option 2 above) or would you accept that you have to face the exams, put in the desired efforts and do your best(option 3 above)? Options 1 & 2 would ensure that the problem is out temporarily, it would recur till you don’t accept to choose option 3. Option 3 would directly get rid of it – given the little bit of “suffering” you put in for it.
Yes, it is difficult. We have all slipped at some point. And I’ll admit – so did I – very recently. Knowing all of this, I chose option 1. And suffered miserably coz at one point in time, it did sink in really bad. And then I chose option 2. I fought it, fought it bad and probably hurt a few of you in the process. And all I can say is, I am sorry. I have realized, I shouldn’t fight. I have realized, I need to accept a few things, and trust life that it is giving me the best, provided I am willing to let it give me the best. Time, they say, is the best healer. Let me give it time.
Lots of love,