So, its been a month into marriage .. And wonders never cease (atleast for folks who know me well). They first thought I’d never walk the “arranged marriage” trap. When I did that, they thought I’d never settle for a traditional do and not put up with the “processes” that go in a normal Marwari wedding. When I did that, they thought I’d never want to change my surname. Well folks, I did that too. So now that a month has passed, I have a whole lot of people asking me “whats marriage done to you?” or “how is marriage treating you?” and then a few would want a blog post. So people, here it comes ….
So, first let us settle the surname thingy – and let me quote Shakespeare – “A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet”. So here we go .. My name and my surname do not define me, rather, I define my name and surname. So whether it is Agarwal or Elhance, I do not change as a person. Infact, the way I look at it is, that Aditi is the name given to me at birth – it represents my family by birth. Elhance is the name given to me by marriage – it represents my family by my husband. So, “Aditi Elhance” represents a complete me.
Now coming to the marriage part – it is a big leap of faith. Lets not mince words here. And honestly, if things had to go wrong, they can go horribly wrong. And there is no way of knowing in advance. No astrologer and no soothsayer can predict this. Its ultimately about how well you choose and what life has in store for you. On a more tangible note, your communication with the spouse and the temperament of the family you are marrying into also matter. One’s just got to be compatible with so many people, not just one. There are so many factors that influence a budding relation, that a lot also depends on your own reactions. This is one time where the ego has to be separate from the individual. This is one time where one just has to let go, and try to merge in as much as possible. The basic idea is that when you merge in, you do not lose yourself, you just add to yourself .
So, do I recommend it to others? Absolutely. But like all things advertised on any media, I’ll add a statutory warning – be absolutely sure of what you are getting into and who you are marrying. And make sure it is your decision, and not somebody else’s. Because, if things don’t go right later on, you will not want to point fingers at others – it will simply add to your heartbreak.
Things are very uncertain in life, and definitely in marriage – you do not know where you’ll be standing a few years from now. Its a game of chance, where you jump in, based on only your instincts. So, enjoy it while it lasts .. if the while is forever, you are darn lucky .. if it is not .. atleast you had a good time!